We are approaching a time of year when the word HAPPINESS is used repeatedly: "Merry Christmas," "Happy New Year," "Congratulations," "I wish you happiness."
Our arrival into life is marked with the word happiness. We congratulate parents, tell them that we "feel happy with their happiness," and add that these children will be "the happiness of their parents and their entire family and friends." Thus we accompany the child throughout their entire life wishing them HAPPINESS: at their baptism, first communion, when they win prizes at school or in sports activities, when they graduate at different levels, when they get their first job, or their first girlfriend, or when they get engaged, or when they marry. But what is happiness?
The Traditional Definition of Happiness
The dictionary says that a person is happy when they are favored by circumstances, lucky, fortunate, when they possess or exhibit or cause feelings of great pleasure, contentment and joy. If we look carefully at the definitions given by Webster's dictionary, we see that they place the possibility of having happiness or feeling happiness in external events: being favored by circumstances, being lucky... that is, for those who gave these definitions or meanings to the word HAPPINESS, its source is not within us but depends on elements not always manageable by human beings such as circumstances, luck, fortune...
We do not share that definition, of course not.
Religious and Philosophical Perspectives
Some religions present HAPPINESS as the possession of the idea of God. Christ, during his time on earth, left us a beautiful description of the happy man in his Sermon on the Beatitudes. The biblical psalms consider happy "that man who trusts in the Lord," "he whose sin is forgiven," "he whom God admits into His presence," "he who observes God's Law."
Philosophers since the very beginning of humanity have asked themselves: who is truly happy? Who can be happy in every circumstance of their life? These same essential questions are what most affect and concern every non-superficial man, every normal adult person. They are unavoidable, personal, non-transferable questions that affect each human being at the very core of their being... and the answer that each adult person gives to these questions will largely determine their fulfillment in life and their level of satisfaction with themselves, with others, and with their circumstances. And the answer that each of us gives to these questions will determine the level of coexistence of the family, the community, the nation, humanity.
Happiness and Love
Perhaps the best way to define what happiness is, is to first talk about the word LOVE. Human beings are born as a product of their parents' love. To achieve harmonious and full development of the social, psychological and moral aspects of human beings, they need to feel surrounded by love. Because love is what generates security in oneself and creates the necessary conditions to relate in a healthy and constructive way with others. Human beings are only happy when they are entangled in the wonderful pursuits of love: loving, being loved, wanting to love... when you love there are no limitations in giving, because the more you give... the happier you feel. And when you love you don't feel the limitations that others can place on us because we know that whoever truly loves us doesn't want to take away anything that makes us happy... and thus, we trust them, without fear, secure that everything will be for our good and that if they say NO it's because it's not for our happiness. And this criterion works at all levels, even in topics as intimate as sexuality, or as difficult as money, or as complicated as power, politics, honors.
Love as the Foundation of Life
If you know how to love like this, in a pure and communicative way, you can put the first plus sign (+) in the happiness test: whoever loves protects and promotes good, preserves the quality and human essence of the other and, with this, tries to save the very existence of human life in the world. Because we say and repeat, without love there is no authentic dialogue between spouses, parents and children, and especially between children and parents, there is no authentic realization of the human person, there is no authentic sexuality and affectivity, nor can man reach his destiny and happiness, without love there is no true freedom, nor do interpersonal relationships in human coexistence have quality. This conception of happiness based on love breaks drastically with materialistic and external concepts of happiness —having, possessing. This conception of happiness based on love is what explains that man can be happy not only in times of prosperity (when things go well) but also in times of poverty, setbacks, and afflictions.
A Message of Authentic Happiness
Christmas is approaching. The new year is approaching. Times of saying "congratulations" are approaching. So when we say congratulations let's not say it coldly, or out of social courtesy, or out of customs superior to our thinking... so that when we call each other on the phone, when we hug and kiss each other, our "CONGRATULATIONS" will be testimony to the new meaning we desire for you and for everyone. So happy inner life, happy peace with yourself, happy encounter with your goals and ideals, happy acceptance of the good and bad that is in you... congratulations because you live, congratulations because you love, because the sun shines, because your children and grandchildren smile, congratulations for everything you have and for everything God will give you.